Magnetic at Work: What really gives you presence?

Decorative image — Magnetic at Work: What really gives you presence?
To celebrate the launch of her new book How To Be Magnetic, psychology educator and Fora member Francesca Tighinean joins us for Magnetic at Work, a new mini-series exploring the psychology behind stronger connections at work. First up: presence.
Dthe work of Francesca

What makes someone magnetic?

It’s a question psychology expert, author and Fora member Francesca Tighinean has spent a lot of time thinking about. In her new book, How To Be Magnetic: The Science of Charisma, Attraction and Human Connection, she explores what draws us to certain people, and how we can build stronger connections ourselves.

To celebrate its launch, we’ve partnered with Francesca on Magnetic at Work, a new mini-series exploring how the psychology of human connection can help us navigate working life.

We’re starting with executive presence. Not status or seniority, but the kind of influence that means people listen to you, trust you and value what you have to say, whether or not you’re the person in charge. Francesca describes it simply as “influence outside of authority”

“Anyone can have executive presence, because executive presence is influence beyond authority.”
Francesca TighineanPsychology expert, author and Fora member

Why do some people command the room before they've said a word?

Francesca: These people are usually showing us, very quickly, that they're confident and capable. The way they stand, make eye contact and carry themselves tells us they're completely comfortable being there.

Research shows that we judge everyone we meet on two dimensions. The first is agency, which is basically “can this person get things done?” Do they seem assertive and competent? The second is communion, which is “is this person on my side?” Do they seem warm and are they moral?

But here's the part I find most important: the first impression is really just a promise. Studies also show that the qualities people rated as the most important for presence were values and integrity, and those only show up over time.

So, commanding the room gets you attention, and it's who you turn out to be that decides whether people keep listening.

“Confidence and decisiveness create a strong first impression, but your character is what makes that presence last.”

What's the biggest misconception people have about executive presence?

Francesca: That it's mainly about confidence and decisiveness. These are only part of the picture, and not even the most important part.

In a study by Dagley and Gaskin, the two characteristics rated highest were acting on your values and interpersonal integrity, which includes things like acknowledging people's contributions, being inclusive and remembering what they told you. Projected confidence came lower than both.

Confidence and decisiveness create a strong first impression, yes, but your character is what makes that presence last.

There are people who don't have that much confidence, they don't talk a lot, they don't have those charismatic communication skills. But they've got incredible competence, amazing integrity and they act in alignment with their values. Over time, those qualities can matter more than the confidence someone projects when you first meet them.

“Tomorrow, sit at the table rather than on the edge of the room. Speak up early in the meeting.”

What's one thing people could do tomorrow to show up with more presence?

Francesca: Take up a little more space. The first impressions that create presence lean heavily towards agency, and the part of agency most linked to status is assertiveness, which is about confidence and being willing to be seen.

One of the simplest ways to be seen is to speak. There's a fascinating idea in leadership research called the ‘babble hypothesis’, which suggests that the people who talk the most tend to become the leaders.

So tomorrow, sit at the table rather than on the edge of the room. Speak up early in the meeting, even briefly. Studies show that you don’t need authority to have leadership. We all have that colleague who isn't necessarily in a position of power and people still look up to them.

But taking up space doesn’t mean taking over. Presence is also about knowing when to pass the mic: listening properly, making other people feel seen and giving them space to contribute.

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