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The sense of togetherness that underpins what we do here at Fora is more important than ever, and central to this at the moment is our digital events programme. In partnership with awol, we tuned in for an online workshop with Wendy O’Beirne aka The Completion Coach and despite the physical separation, it was a hugely interactive event. Wendy revealed how we can master both our confidence and goals by focusing on these simple techniques and insights:
More than anything else, this is down to our thoughts about whether we can actually fulfil that goal. We are often our own worst critic, sometimes without even knowing it. Up to 95% of the 100,000 thoughts we have a day are done subconsciously – and 80% of those are normally negative. “Our brains are built to keep us safe,” said Wendy. “They’re designed to maintain us in our familiar space. Building confidence requires us to push outside our safety zone into unfamiliar territories.”
Wendy outlined how we constantly ask ourselves ‘what do I believe I am capable of?’ and we need to resist those limitations.” Everything in our reality comes back to those thought processes. Wendy challenged her audience to consider what tales they tell themselves about their own ability, and the impact this can have on achieving goals and our confidence.
Procrastination affects everyone, but it is imperative to be honest with ourselves about why we delay getting tasks started. As Wendy observed, “You only do something for the first time once. Confidence comes with practice.” An all-or-nothing mindset or aspiring to perfection before we get started are just some of the ways we self-sabotage. This can be particularly true of those who are self-employed, who can shy away from their task list without needing to seek approval.
Just as each journey starts with a single step, the road to greater confidence and achieving goals can be built with small actions and rituals which should be built up over time. “Break it down; give it a timescale; make it small, actionable and realistic; create momentum,” advised Wendy. “Start with the first goal – not the entire mountain.” Every single incomplete thing in your life is a tiny draw on your energy, so stop assuming and stop doubting; give yourself a break from your inner critic.
1) Make a list of what comes to mind when you think of confidence and success within yourself; challenge any negative connotations that come up.
2) Use daily mantras and journaling to disrupt unhelpful thoughts and build positive beliefs.
3) Notice where you’re holding yourself back. Practice, patience and self-cheerleading create success.
4) List out your goals and break them down into bitesize tasks. Doing a little a day helps build momentum.
5) Build trust with yourself by setting realistic goals and seeing them through. Commit to yourself as you would to others.
6) Get familiar with the ‘why’ behind your goals and keep this in mind. This will help keep momentum and passion, even when doing mundane tasks.
7) Do the best you can – and know that ‘best’ can look different every day.
For more upcoming events from the likes of awol and The Completion Coach, keep an eye on your Fora newsletter and our social media channels.